I used to be a desert. I was all dried up and barren. A very parched soul and heart, with not much feeling, not much emotion. I was so dry that I didn't even know I needed water. (Insert significant nod to Dekker's Horde.) I had become used to my barren heart. And I was very content with it, thank you. When presented with Water, I wanted nothing to do with it. (Again, Scab-like) Why would Someone want to pour out waters of refreshing on me? I guarantee there was nothing special about me; I was not worth making a fuss over, please don't waste your time on me, nothing good can come out of my dusty, dry heart.
Could all that is lost ever be found, Could a garden come up from this ground at all?
"Wake up, O Sleeper! Rise from the dead and Christ will shine upon you!" (Eph. 5:14)
I had a wake up call. It was time to be raised from the death I was slowly dying, inside and outside. Louie Giglio via Passion 2012 via streaming online via a reminder from a friend very pointedly and directly yelled out during his sermon to, "WAKE UP! YOU ARE DYING!" My heart skipped a beat. I wasn't paying much attention up until this point. He was explaining a miracle of Jesus in the gospel of Luke. Jesus was headed into the town of Nain where a funeral was taking place. Death was in the air. Not only had a widow lost her husband, she had lost her son as well. This woman had no reason or interest to continue living anymore. Her heart was all dried up. Her heart was broken and I related with this woman. I'm sure she had many sleepless nights. She probably didn't eat much. Or talk much. I knew. I know. She was dying, too. Me too.
You make beautiful things out of the dust
Nain means 'beautiful pasture'. Jesus came into this once beautiful, lush way of life and cleared the dust and death and despair. He restored life not only back into the widow's son but also into the widow's heart. In fact, He went to the widow immediately and told her not to weep.
I didn't want to hurt anymore. Actually, I wanted to feel something other than pain. I wanted to feel safe and I wanted to live again. Jesus gently, ever so gently, watered my heart, softened my heart. Tended to my garden and is cultivating my heart to become a beautiful pasture.
All around hope is springing up from this old ground Out of chaos life is being found in You
Gardens take time. My garden is being weeded and watered and nourished. I want my life to be fruitful. I want to be Nain, a beautiful pasture.
You make me new, You are making me new You make me new, You are making me new
You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us
(Lyrics from 'Beautiful Things' by Gungor)